Many of us who have decided to take on a career in the legal field, regardless of whether you are a practicing lawyer or not, did that because something about being a legal professional appealed to them. A wise man once said that our character shapes our destiny. I happen to agree with the fact that to be able to thrive in a certain field, legal or not, you need to have a certain character for that. For some that becomes an intuitive thing, because this is who they really are, and others need to build a character once embarked on this adventure. What I find interesting is that we spend years on building that character by telling ourselves how we should be, or how we should not be because we see it as the only way to make it in a certain career or job place. We do that to a point where we don't recognize the person we see in the mirror. And we spend the second part of our career unlearning what we have learned to begin with, if we get to stick with the career of choice and not derail to a whole new area. I am still trying to figure out who and how we got to tell ourselves the big lie that we can only succeed as a lawyer if we are becoming someone we are not, that in order to be a successful lawyer you can't afford to be human; yes I've actually did mention the word "human". Lawyers are also humans!!! There are so many resources out there about how we can build better relationships with our clients, how to make our clients happy, because if the client wins, you win. Everything is about winning, but there are not enough resources about how do we become empathetic towards ourselves and towards the people that work with or for us.
A lawyer who cannot be empathetic towards herself cannot be empathetic towards others. Imagine someone who is burned out after working 15 hours a day, someone who has forgotten about self care, someone who runs her body on take out food and barely has time for the closest people in her life. The author of "7 habits of efficient people" reminds us about how one cannot be successful and fulfilled until she is successful and fulfilled in each area of her life. Be it career, family, friends, community and many others. We clearly cannot have to many expectations from someone who has overextended herself to a point where she has nothing else to give to her own self, her clients and especially to her colleagues and employees. These types of scenarios become a dangerous vicious cycle like "the more miserable I am, the more miserable I will make you". So, what does it mean to be an empathetic lawyer and what will it take to become one?
- Being an empathetic lawyer means having a high self-awareness first of all and being in touch your inner self;
- An empathetic lawyer will strive to have a balanced life;
- An empathetic lawyer will be a happy lawyer, someone who is a fulfilled person in all areas if lives;
- An empathetic lawyer will have healthy expectations from herself, from others and for others;
- An empathetic lawyer will strive for progress not perfection;
- An empathetic lawyer will be an inspiring leader and someone who leads by example;
- She will be someone who follows the "win-win" principle in all areas of her life;
- She will be someone who will make other people's life better and not worst;
- Every interaction with her will become memorable and worth following as guidance.
What kind of lawyer are you?